Episode 5.7: Splinter.

Lana receives a piece of silver kryptonite in the mail supposedly from Lex. But when Clark touches it, the rock cuts him, leaving a splinter inside his finger. From that point on Clark begins to experience extreme paranoia. He thinks Chloe is divulging his secrets to Lionel, his dad is going to sell him out to Luthor senior, and Lana is cheating on him with Lex. Eventually, as the situation escalates and Clark becomes violent, Milton Fine reveals himself to be a kryptonian and "cures" Clark by removing the splinter. But the closing moments reveal that it never was silver kryptonite and it wasn't Lex who sent it. It was Fine who sent the rock and the splinter that entered Clark was actually a piece of Fine himself. This was all a ploy to get Clark to trust him. Meanwhile, Lex shows Lana the space ship, which she then neglects to tell Clark. But did Lex allow Lana to see it for her piece of mind or because he is running out of ideas on how to open it?

This is a really great episode. When I originally watched this, back when it first aired, I missed the fact that the silver kryptonite was actually Fine himself, so the episode never made much sense to me, as Fine's plan hinged on Clark not only getting his hands on the rock, but coincidentally cutting himself on it as well. Obviously, knowing that the splinter is indeed Fine completely changes things, revealing him to be a truly devious little bugger and one of the more intriguing villains of the series, outside of the Luthors.

The various scenes of paranoia are really interesting to watch as they reveal deep rooted fears that Clark has; his best friend turning on him, his father not really thinking of him as his son, and the woman he loves going into the arms of the man he is slowly beginning to view as his enemy. Welling does a great job portraying a man dangerously close to tipping over the edge.

Chloe once again shows herself to be the most loyal of friends. When she tells Clark that she will die before revealing his secret I totally believe her.

Lex on the other hand, when he tells Lana that he just couldn't lie to her anymore, is about as convincing as the world's fattest man promising to give up Krispy Cremes. I think we've seen evidence in the past that Lex truly cares for Lana and he may even try to convince himself that this is still the case. But there is no conviction there any more. Only a desire to chase his obsession of learning all that he can about the ship.

One of the best scenes is when Lionel calls Lex out on why he is running for office. He needs to be seen as being a good man. He needs people to like him. But is that desire for recognition coming from a place of longing for people to see the good that is in him, or is it merely a cover that will protect him from being seen as the man he truly knows himself to be?

Great stuff!

10/10

Episode 5.6: Exposed

Lex decides to run for Senator, going up against the current Senator, who just so happens to be Jonathan's best friend. But when a photo turns up of the Senator in a nightclub, with a girl who is now dead, Jonathan instantly assumes that it is all part of some smear campaign from Lex. Coincidentally, Chloe and Lois are investigating the death of the woman after she called them on the night that she died. With Clark also on the case the three of them end up converging on the nightclub and only realize when Lois takes to the stage for an undercover pole dance "routine". When police raid the club, Lois ends up being taken by the killer, a diplomat that the police cannot touch due to his diplomatic immunity. But that doesn't stop Lois from kicking his ass, with a little help from Clark. The Senator drops out of the race, suggesting Jonathan run in his place, and Chloe gets her first bi-line at the Daily Planet.

For a man who is constantly painted as a person of the highest moral integrity, Jonathan certainly comes across as one heck of a sanctimonius douchebag in this episode. The scene where he full on railroads Lex for something he hasn't done, without a shred of proof, highlights just how judgemental he can be with his prejudice against the Luthors. It's definitely his biggest character flaw. An apology would have been quite appropriate too, given that Lex actually goes out of his way to help the Senator, almost as if he's trying to show Jonathan that he wants to win by playing fairly.

I was never really a fan of Dukes of Hazzard but I am old enough to remember that show and so I can really appreciate all the references and injokes about it. They were enough to put a smile on my face at any rate.

While I most definitely appreciate the stunning good looks of Erica Durance as much as the next guy (or gal for that matter), I can't help but feel that this particular season has really upped the ante when it comes to pushing the boundaries of sexuality on the show. For the third episode in a row we've been given some rather raunchy material to feast our eyes upon, with two out of those three featuring a bikini clad Lois. I will admit to being somewhat amused by the difficult situation Chloe puts Lois into, especially once Lois spots Clark in the audience, but I cannot help but think that this stuff wouldn't fly so well in a post #metoo world.

It's still great, as always, to see Lois kicking the crap out of the scumbag who tries to abduct her. And it's always refreshing to have a villain of the week who isn't a meteor freak, though still a freak nonetheless.

One more thing about this season that seems to have been ramped up a bit is the level of violence. The scene where the woman in the red dress is hit by the car is pretty brutal in its depiction and still has the power to shock. But I think you need to make this kind of impact when you are doing a story that deals with human trafficking. It is a very real-world problem when compared to the meteor freak style threats that our heroes usually have to deal with. I think the episode does a good job of showing that it is often people in power that allow such crimes to continue. You need look no further than the recent Jeffrey Epstein case to see just how accurate that is.

This is quite a dark episode but it is perfectly balanced with moments of humour to stop it from becoming too depressing. On the contrary, it ends up being highly entertaining.

9/10

Episode 5.5: Thirst

Lana joins a sorority at Met U in the hopes that it will put a roof over her head as she goes through college. The problem is that the sorority is made up of hot bimbo vampires who think she fits the bill. When they turn Lana, she starts acting wild and careless. Eventually, she bites Chloe. When Clark takes her to the hospital he discovers, thanks to Milton Fine, that the virus she's been struck with has something to do with a Luthorcorp project. When Clark bursts into the mansion to confront Lex about it, Lex is very upfront with what happened, providing the antidote. Clark uses it to cure Lana but not before she toasts the leader of the sorority, with the heat vision she acquires, after biting Clark.

Oh dear lord, what is this episode?!! Where do I start? After my criticisms of the previous episode's sleaziness, with regard to the flesh it had on show, this one decides to turn it way up to eleven. A sexed up Lana in a sexed up sorority house are just the tip of the iceberg in an episode that includes a lesbian vampire kiss and plenty of tight fighting pvc costumes. This definitely feels like a bunch of 14 year old boys broke into the writer's room and edited the script to include all their teenage fantasies. I feel quite embarrassed for Kristen Kreuk throughout the majority of it. She looks terribly uncomfortable, and not just because of the awkward looking fangs she has to wear, that make her talk with a lisp.

There are some unintentionally funny moments too. Not least of which the aforementioned moment of Clark bursting into the mansion on Lex. This happens so often now this it's practically a running joke. But I literally cracked up with laughter when it happened. Another moment that almost had me in stitches was when Lana first uses heat vision. When Clark first erupted fire from his eyes it was because the sight of his teacher made him horny. Then Lionel experienced the same thing when he swapped bodies with Clark in season 4's "Transference". It was a hug from Martha that got him all excited. When Lana first shoots fire from her eyes she is looking into a mirror at... herself??? I laughed out loud at this moment but I don't think it was intended. Either way, it doesn't say much for Lana's character.

Speaking of which, she is totally inconsistent in her behaviour throughout. One minute she's a changed woman who doesn't care about Clark anymore because the vampire inside her has taken control. The next minute she's having doubts and acting affectionately towards him like she does still have control. If it is indeed the latter then she's responsible for some very questionable behaviour that really highlights some major defects in her character.

I also don't like the way that Clark's attention lingers on one of the sorority girls, like a horny teenager, given that he's so devoted to Lana. Again, it comes across as sleazy and, more importantly, it cheapens the relationship between Clark and Lana and makes Lana's words to him later on feel unearned. The fact of the matter is that this episode really does do a disservice to both characters.

As for the sorority girls themselves? They are a bunch of stereotypical Mean Girls wannabees that are so over the top, without being ammusing, they just seriously irritate the crap out of me.

Once again, it is Lex who shines, particularly in his scenes with Milton Fine, as he goes to Fine's classroom to challenge the accusations he's been making about him to Clark. Rosenbaum is great in these scenes, as is James Marsters as Fine. Carrie Fisher is also great in her guest role as editor of the Daily Planet. I only wish there was more of this stuff instead of all the really annoying vampire stuff!

4/10

Episode 5.4: Aqua

Arthur Currie arrives in town and, after saving Lois from drowning, attempts to hit on her multiple times. What he doesn't tell her is that he has the power to breathe and move super fast under water and that he's in Smallville to sabotage a piece of experimental equipment, owned by Luthorcorp, that is destroying ocean wildlife. Clark is very suspicious of him after witnessing his powers. He also has a new teacher, in the shape of Milton Fine, a man who looks remarkably like the entity that crawled out of the alien ship that landed during the last meteor shower.

This episode is incredibly sleazy at times. We get multiple shots of Lois in her bikini getting soaking wet and looking like she belongs in an American Pie movie. The camera fixes its gaze in slow-mo for far too long for it to be referred to as anything but titillation. And just so the ladies aren't left out they do something very similar with Arthur.

In fact, there are times when it gets down right homoerotic. At one point Clark asks Arthur if he's okay, when he refreshes himself under a sprinkler, after Lex kept him out of the water for too long. His response? "Wet and ready bro!" It's a line worthy of a 70's Carry On movie.

Alan Ritchson, while perfectly adequate in the role of Arthur, doesn't exactly do anything here to make me think he was the best actor for the role. I feel like he was mainly cast for his physique, which is probably why they milk it for all it's worth, rather than his ability to emote. He's not terrible, like I say, just a little bland. I hear he has made a decent impression on the more recent Teen Titans show but, having not seen that, I only have his performance here to go on.

The subplot between Lois and Arthur doesn't really strike much of a chord with me. It's amusing for a little while, but it's a bit light weight and feels pointless by the time we reach the end, as nothing really comes of it.

The standout in this episode is Rosenbaum as Lex. The scene where he torments Arthur with the glass of water is brilliantly played and Lex's meglomaniacal side really comes out. I also love the scenes between him and Clark, where he tells Clark that, "the days of [him] barging in to offer sage advice are over!" Though, given their physical altercation in "Mortal", it's surprising he even agreed to let him into the mansion.

It's also surprising to see Clark defending Lex in the classroom when Milton Fine goes into a full on tirade about the evils of Clark's former friend. Clearly Clark hasn't totally given up on him yet, but his forgiving nature is one of his most admirable traits. However, he does quickly backslide on that after seeing the way Lex conducts business with Arthur, agreeing to help Fine write an expose on the Luthor Corp billionaire.

Overall, a fun episode that gives us the first serious live-action take on the man who will become Aquaman.

7/10

Episode 5.3: Hidden

Gabriel Duncan is a clever young man who breaks into a missile silo, kills the guards, and begins the countdown sequence for a nuclear strike on Smallville. He believes that he is doing the world a favour by ridding it of all the super powered meteor freaks that exist there. But when he calls Chloe, someone he cares for, to tell her to get out of town, it sets her on the path of investigation to find out what he's up to. Meanwhile, Clark and Lana wake up in bed, having slept together. Lana tries to sneak out of the house but is caught by Jonathan and Martha. When Chloe discovers what Gabriel is up to she tells Clark, so Clark sets a trap for him, using Chloe as bait. But the trap backfires and Clark is shot. When he dies in hospital, Lionel awakes from his catatonic state inhabited by Jor-El, and takes Clark back to the fortress. Once there Clark is resurrected, with Jor-El essentially telling him, "I told you so". With his powers returned to him, Clark stops the missile, but is once again faced with the dilemma of lying to Lana. Also, Lex discovers that another alien entity has been coming in and out of the ship.

Assuming for one moment that you can accept the ridiculousness of a teenager not only being able to break into such a lightly guarded missile silo, but being able to operate it as well, then this is a really great episode. Smallville always requires a bit of suspension of disbelief. Some episodes more than others. This is definitely one of those. But I think if you can get over that hurdle then there is much to love here.

The scene with Lana trying to sneak off is pretty amusing, but it does remind us that Clark still lives under his parents roof, so he needs to repect their wishes.

The climax where Clark rides a missile is brilliantly executed and the special effects hold up pretty well even now. It's one of those iconic action sequences that the series was so good at producing.

When Clark gets shot I love both his and Chloe's reaction to it. Clark is so used to just rocking up to troublesome situations knowing that he has his powers. He learns the hard way here that he can no longer do that. It's easy to be reckless when you are made of steel.

I like seeing episodes where the villain is not a meteor freak but has a vendetta against the meteor infected. It reminds me of the third season episode, "Extinction", with Van MacNulty. We're so used to seeing those infected by the meteor rock going insane that it's nice to acknowledge how that would affect the prejudices of people who have had to live with the fallout of that insanity.

My main gripe with the character of Gabriel is that, given we are five seasons in, you'd think we would have heard of this guy at some point before now given how much he seems to care for Chloe. This is one of those Smallville tropes that you kind of just have to accept and move on with. It's definitely not the first time it's happened and it certainly won't be the last. But it's still jarring everytime it occurs.

Once again, Jor-El comes off as a bit douchey but, rather annoyingly, you can't really argue with the fact that Clark has gone without his powers for just a couple of episodes before getting himself killed.

9/10

Episode 5.2: Mortal

As the citizens of Smallville pull together to rebuild after the meteor shower, Clark begins to settle into life as a regular Joe, feeling tired from a hard day's work and enjoying life with Lana. That is until three superpowered meteor freaks, recently escaped from Belle Reve, show up at the Kent farm looking for him. They've heard what he can do and now they want him to use his powers to break in to Level 3 and steal a serum that is vital to them. But as things spiral out of control a hostage situation ensues. Clark must use his wits alone to defeat the three men. When he does so, he learns that it was Lex who let them escape, hoping to learn Clark's secret by testing him. When Clark confronts him they come to blows, showing that their friendship is truly over. Meanwhile, Lionel stands where Lex once stood, in a straight jacket behind the two way mirror of a cell in Belle Reve.

I friggin' love this episode. Clark and Lana are properly together and, most importantly, seem to be very happy together. Makes a change from the usual pining and melancholy that comes from one or the other as a result of them not being able to be together.

I love episodes based around hostage situations, whether it's season 2's Insurgence, or episodes from other TV shows altogether, such as The X Files episode, 'Duane Barry'. They have become a staple of movies and television when it comes to creating tension and drama and they usually work pretty well. Maybe it's because they are mostly tied to one location that can get quite claustrophobic once you have opposing agendas going head to head. And there is often a sense of empathy that can be produced in relation towards the hostage takers. Even here, where the villains remain utter douchebags right up to the end, you can still empathize with their predicament of needing medication that they are not being provided.

The standout scene though has to be the moment where Clark has finally had it with Lex, after finding out he is responsible for freeing the three meteor freaks from Belle Reve, and the two of them exchange punches. This isn't like Onyx, or any other episode where one of the two men is not quite themselves. No, this is actual Clark and actual Lex trading blows, which makes it all the more electrifying and, ultimately, tragic. It's been a long time coming but, for now at any rate, the two former friends are absolutely enemies. Though as a side note I do have to say that, even without his powers, it's hard to imagine Lex being able to get back up again after taking two hits like that from Clark.

This episode does of course put Clark into the position of being able to show Lex, or Lana for that matter, that he is "just human" after all. You could say it is very convenient that Lex decided to set up this test for Clark at this particular time. But convenient or not it makes damn good television.

The sheriff, a character I've always liked, also makes an appearance here. She has a funny moment where Jonathan is desperately trying to get her to leave but, like Columbo, she keeps finding reasons to stay. I like that she acknowledges the wierdness of Smallville too because sometimes I wonder if the only people aware of it are Clark and friends.

Another part of this episode I really like is when Clark breaks into Luthor Corp with help from Chloe. When Chloe opens the boot of her car it makes for a rather amusing discovery that would make the Hardy Boys proud.

A truly great episode. 

10/10

Episode 5.1: Arrival

Clark throws the stone and moments later a large Kryptonian fortress bursts forth from the earth. When he enters Jor-El begins his training. But Clark stops him in order to save Chloe from freezing to death. Jor-El allows it but only on the condition that Clark return before sundown. Back in Smallville, two Kryptonians come out of the alien space craft and start tearing up the town, looking for Kal-El. Martha recovers in hospital thanks to help from Lois. Lex covers up the circumstances surrounding the death of Genevieve Teague and takes the alien space craft back to Luthercorp. When Clark confronts the two Kryptonians they try to trap him inside the phantom zone. But Clark turns the tables, trapping them instead, saving Lana from them in the process. He holds onto Lana as the sun goes down, quickly discovering that his powers are gone. As the episode closes, another lifeform comes out from the alien space craft.

This is a really fast paced episode with lots going on, as is customary for a season opener. But despite all the big action set pieces and crazy goings on, my favourite scene is the one in the Ukranian hospital where Chloe finally gets to talk to Clark about what she knows. I almost feel as relieved as she does, that he finally has someone to confide in, especially as that someone is her. I love the way she admires him for having all these abilities and constantly saving lives without ever asking for something in return. She, in effect, gets to be the voice of the audience watching the show.

Of all the stuff going on back in Smallville the most interesting or compelling thing to watch is the way in which Lex begins to spiral out of control. His obsession with finding out what's going on with Clark and the stones brings out his darkest side and it's troubling to see the ways he tries to manipulate Lana and push Chloe around in order to get the answers he seeks.

Having 2 Kryptonians show up promises a really great showdown in the final act. Unfortunately, the 2 aliens in question don't seem to be the sharpest tools in the box and so they rather foolishly turn their backs on Clark at the precise moment they should be delivering the deciding blow. This is a bit of an anticlamatic battle given the damage we've seen these two cause in the lead up to this moment. While this final battle ends up being unsatisfying it does give us an awesome callback to Superman the Movie in its depiction of the Phantom Zone prison that wisks away the two villains.

Add to that the Kryptonian symbol that Lionel scribbles furiously into the floor and it can mean only one thing: Zod is on the horizon, which is an enticing prospect.

Jor-El taking away Clark's powers has much more meaning to it upon a repeat viewing, knowing where the season is heading. It puts a heavy burden of responsibility onto Clark's shoulders. This isn't just one of those times where Clark loses his power only to get it back in the next episode. He will indeed get it back, but doing so will pay a price, and we all know what that price is in hindsight, which is what makes the events of this episode carry more weight second time around. Doesn't do much to make me think of Jor-El as anything less than a douche bag though.

A cracking start to the season.

9/10